The Deeply Disturbing Story Behind Baby Reindeer

Hailing from the colony of Wormit successful Fife, Scotland, Richard Gadd is an Oxford School of Drama alum who built a sanction for himself at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe with primed-to-shock shows similar 2013's Cheese & Crack Whores, 2014's Breaking Gadd and 2015's Waiting for Gaddot, which won a Scottish Comedy Award for Best Solo Show.

Not 1 to picture himself arsenic a accepted comedian in immoderate consciousness of the form, Gadd told The Skinny successful March 2016, "I don't deliberation I tin basal up and archer a story; I haven't written an anecdote oregon a gag successful my life. What I bash is high-concept theatrics; large ideas; in-your-face, smash-mouth comedy."

Still, portion helium wasn't shy astir detailing his idiosyncratic issues successful his work—"If you tackle these uncomfortable zones you go stronger arsenic a person"—he was known for playing much of an outlandish quality connected stage.

But the existent Gadd stepped up in Monkey See Monkey Do, which debuted astatine the Fringe successful August 2016.

Running connected a treadmill the full time, trying to get the figurative monkey disconnected his back, Gadd unpacked the self-loathing and situation of masculinity helium experienced after being drugged and sexually assaulted by different antheral 4 years beforehand, erstwhile helium was 23. His telling was interspersed with images (the archetypal being video of Gadd vomiting) connected a surface and snippets of audio, including recordings from sessions with his therapist that helium lip-synced connected stage.

The Guardian described Gadd's approach as "open-vein affectional engagement," singling retired a infinitesimal wherever he, recalling what happened erstwhile he ran into an ex-girlfriend aft his assault, revealed himself arsenic "a antheral incapable to behaviour the astir basal tiny talk, truthful consumed is helium by self-consciousness and shame."

Gadd told the publication, "I americium a wholly antithetic idiosyncratic than I was. It changes your life. After it happened, I mislaid power of myself." Afraid of however those adjacent to him would react, helium didn't accidental thing for a agelong time, fto alone tell the police.

"I was ever disquieted what radical would deliberation and that they would judge—but cipher gave a s--t," Gadd said. "I mean, they cared, but they didn't deliberation little of maine for it." And erstwhile helium had told beauteous overmuch everyone who mattered to him, it was clip to "let it each out."

Monkey See Monkey Do—which Gadd himself described arsenic "dark, off-kilter and weird"—promptly won the Edinburgh Comedy Award for Best Comedy Show. The prize came with a cheque for £10,000 (roughly $13,500). 

"I've hinted astatine a batch of my problems connected stage, I deliberation that's obvious," Gadd told The Scotsman at the time. "But I've ever done it successful a precise heightened mode which often obscured the existent meaning and information a batch of the time...Some of the precise existent themes I was exploring were astir excessively large and successful your look to ever beryllium taken seriously."

Monkey See Monkey Do got its rubric from sports psychiatrist Professor Steve Peters' Chimp Paradox model, helium said, the thought that we're fundamentally each "apes trying to beryllium quality beings, truthful we deliberation emotionally but person to punctual ourselves to deliberation rationally."

Gadd shared that helium was prone to anxiousness and manic depression, but had been done extended therapy and was sober, practicing meditation and successful the champion carnal signifier of his life. (He started moving agelong distances truthful that he'd fall dormant easier, excessively bushed to think, and helium wanted to incorporate that indispensable ritual into his show.)

"I ever thought I'd archer this communicative erstwhile I had an assemblage that was going to listen," helium said. "But I didn't consciousness similar I could unreserved the healing process. I had to wait. There's a fewer nerves and wondering, 'Is this excessively soon?' But it volition hopefully beryllium a bully thing."

Audiences came in droves and Gadd spent months performing Monkey See Monkey Do around the U.K.

"I didn't privation different miserable year," helium told The List toward the extremity of 2016, "so I wanted to harvester the idiosyncratic goals of trying to find interior bid with the nonrecreational extremity of getting radical to perceive to what I person to say."

Gadd returned to the Fringe successful 2019 with Baby Reindeer, his disturbing relationship of being stalked for years by an older pistillate named Martha—which, helium stressed, was not her existent name—whom helium met portion tending barroom successful London successful 2013. She seemed down and retired and helium felt atrocious for her and gave her a escaped tea, helium explained, and arsenic she kept returning to the bar, helium didn't initially discourage the attention.

"I surely egged the concern connected earlier I realized that it was arsenic unsafe arsenic it was," Gadd told the Independent. "I behaved similar a prick astatine times."

Included successful his show's signature multimedia set-up were projected scrolls of Martha's emails (she sent him 41,071 implicit 3 years, helium said) and samplings of 350 hours' worthy of voicemails, arsenic good arsenic testimonials from his parents and different witnesses describing the toll Martha's misguided affections took connected each of their lives.

The fearfulness of the concern intensifies erstwhile Gadd describes how almost intolerable it was to get constabulary to instrumentality action, not until aft he'd gone done each connection she'd ever sent to find the stalking needle successful the just-reaching-out haystack.

According to Gadd, helium had thought this section was down him until Monkey See Monkey Do caused a sensation—and Martha recovered his number.

"That was the worst part," he told The Guardian after debuting Baby Reindeer. "It felt similar I'd expunged the demons of 1 idiosyncratic who had caused maine truthful overmuch grief, lone truthful that she could instrumentality halfway signifier successful his place. It felt truthful awfully ironic."

It was then, Gadd wrote for Netflix, that helium started "listening, logging, and annotating each azygous voicemail she ever near maine successful the anticipation of bringing it each to an end. Praying that she would accidental thing incriminating truthful that the concern could beryllium dealt with decently and effectively."

The concern was dealt with successful 2017. During a restless nighttime it occurred to him that helium needed to "stage this full ordeal." But erstwhile again, helium couldn't unit the process.

"I hadn't rather grasped it yet," Gadd told the Guardian. "If I'd rushed it a twelvemonth ago, it would person conscionable been a unfortunate narrative. And everyone would person travel retired saying, 'Oh, you're truthful brave, and good done for doing this.'"

Moreover, helium added, "It would beryllium unfair to accidental she was an atrocious idiosyncratic and I was a victim. That didn't consciousness true."

Gadd acknowledged it was evident to the assemblage that helium should not beryllium engaging with Martha, and that overmuch of the discomfort came from watching him dig himself a deeper hole.

When he'd flirt with Martha (represented by an bare barroom stool) successful his signifier show, "I find that rather awkward, due to the fact that you tin archer that the assemblage crook against you successful those moments," helium told the Independent. "And they're close to."

And contempt everything she enactment him through, helium felt for her.

"When we deliberation of stalkers, we ever deliberation of films similar Misery and Fatal Attraction, wherever the stalker is simply a monstrous fig successful the nighttime down an alleyway," Gadd explained. "But usually, it's a anterior narration oregon idiosyncratic you cognize oregon a enactment colleague. Stalking and harassment is simply a signifier of intelligence illness. It would person been incorrect to overgarment her arsenic a monster, due to the fact that she's unwell, and the system's failed her."

As for however overmuch of Baby Reindeer really happened, Gadd told the Guardian, "The skeleton of the communicative is perfectly true."

But, his theatrical relationship was overmuch much melodramatic than however it played retired successful existent time.

"The feeling you get astir of each erstwhile you're getting harassed is relentless tediousness and frustration," helium explained. "I didn't privation the assemblage to consciousness that."

A seven-part series based connected Gadd's amusement of the aforesaid name, besides incorporating the devastating communicative told in Monkey See Monkey Do, premiered April 14 connected Netflix.

Gadd portrays Donny Dunn, a struggling writer-performer who meets Martha (Jessica Gunning) portion tending barroom and, feeling atrocious for however bittersweet she seems erstwhile she comes in, gives her a complimentary cupful of tea.

When Martha—who calls him "Baby Reindeer" due to the fact that helium reminds her of a stuffed artifact she had arsenic a kid, with "big lips, immense eyes and the cutest wee bum"—sends Donny a person petition connected Facebook, helium Googles her and finds articles astir her checkered past, including 1 headlined, "Sick stalker torments barrister's deaf child."

He accepts her petition anyhow and it each devolves from there. Eventually it's revealed that, erstwhile helium met Martha, Donny was conscionable scraping by emotionally aft having been drugged and sexually assaulted by an older antheral he'd truly trusted, writer Darrien (Tom Goodman-Hill).

According to Netflix, Baby Reindeer debuted astatine No. 5 connected its database of the most-watched programming of the week with 2.6 cardinal views, past spent the adjacent 2 weeks astatine No. 1, amassing 22 cardinal views and 87.4 cardinal hours of viewing.

As Gadd soon recovered out, Netflix viewers are adjacent much interactive than theatergoers.

Told the communicative was rooted successful fact, Internet sleuths weren't going to beryllium idly by portion imaginable existent perpetrators were retired there, somewhere, unexposed.

And Reddit users, X posters, et al., were blessed to effort to capable successful the Baby Reindeer blanks themselves. Social media accounts were highlighted arsenic perchance belonging to the existent Martha and speculation ran amok arsenic to who Darrien could be. 

Enough truthful that Gadd pushed back April 22 connected his Instagram Story, writing, "Hi Everyone, People I love, person worked with, and respect (including Sean Foley) are unfairly getting caught up successful speculation. Please don't speculate connected who immoderate of the existent beingness radical could be."

Foley, an actor, manager and Olivier winner, reposted Gadd's connection to X and also wrote, "Police person been informed and are investigating each defamatory abusive and threatening posts against me."

The histrion who plays Martha said that the radical trying truthful hard to fig retired who inspired Gadd's communicative had "missed the constituent of the show."

Gunning told BBC Scotland's The Edit, "If you similar the amusement and you are a instrumentality of it, you should instrumentality with the communicative of Martha and Donny being what connects you, not trying to bash immoderate detective enactment and find retired immoderate existent identities. I deliberation it is rather bittersweet and I would impulse them to ticker the amusement again and spot that that was not the constituent of the amusement astatine all."

Gadd did "an astonishing occupation of not making the communicative truthful achromatic and white, truthful there's nary goody oregon baddy oregon villain oregon victim, really," she added. "They are conscionable analyzable radical similar humans are."

Gunning recovered Martha "just fascinating," she said. "One minute, she is vulnerable, the adjacent infinitesimal she is hilarious, but vulnerable."

Ahead of the series' premiere, Gadd said helium wasn't disquieted astir the existent Martha trying to scope out, telling Vanity Fair, "The concern did effect successful a situation, shall we say, wherever she cannot interaction maine again." (He's said in aggregate interviews since 2019 that helium has to take his words cautiously for ineligible reasons.)

But, helium added, "When it comes to stalking, you tin ne'er truly escape. There's ever the nugget of interest successful the backmost of your head." 

On April 26, the Daily Mail published an interrogation with an unidentified pistillate who said she is the inspiration for Martha and that she is present the unfortunate of Gadd's unwanted attention.

"He's utilizing Baby Reindeer to stalk maine now," she told the publication. "I'm the victim. He's written a bloody amusement astir me." The woman said of the histrion playing Martha, "She benignant of looks similar maine aft I enactment connected 4 chromatic during lockdown but I'm not really unattractive."

She denied stalking Gadd, saying, "Richard Gadd has got 'main quality syndrome.'"

Gadd had said that the accumulation took pains to disguise identities.  

"It's each borrowed from instances that happened to maine and existent radical that I met," helium told Variety. "But of course, you can't bash the nonstop truth, for some ineligible and creator reasons. I mean there's definite protections, you can't conscionable transcript idiosyncratic else's beingness and sanction and enactment it onto television. And obviously, we were precise alert that immoderate characters successful it are susceptible people, truthful you don't privation to marque their lives much difficult."

And helium emphasized that real-life events didn't unfold precisely arsenic they bash successful Baby Reindeer.

Reiterating that "a batch of stalking is rather boring," Gadd explained that "you request to determination definite timelines around, you request to determination definite points to the extremity of episodes to marque them wage disconnected a small better. As good arsenic a existent story, you person to marque it visually interesting."

But portion there's a intelligence thriller facet to the narrative, helium truly wanted it to be "an introspection of the ramifications of trauma," helium said. "And I deliberation that's rather subtle successful the show, but a batch of radical are truly getting that facet of it. They spot Donny and they're appreciating someone's self-destructive tendencies successful the aftermath of trauma. And I deliberation radical are uncovering a large comfortableness successful that, honestly."

In May, Fiona Harvey came guardant to accidental she was the inspiration for Martha and appeared on Piers Morgan Uncensored to sermon Gadd.

According to Harvey, connected the fateful time they met astatine a pub, the comedian interrupted her speech with different barman successful bid to speech to her.

"It's beauteous rude to interrupt," she said, "so helium seemed to beryllium obsessed with maine from that infinitesimal onward."

As for Gadd's assertion onstage and surface that his stalker sent him thousands of messages, Harvey archetypal told Morgan, "I don't deliberation I sent him anything." She added, "May person been a mates of emails, conscionable jokey banter emails. That was it."

In June, Harvey filed a $170 cardinal defamation suit against Netflix that called Baby Reindeer's rubric paper stating "This is simply a existent story" the "biggest prevarication successful tv history."

Netflix told E! News successful a connection it planned to "defend this substance vigorously," portion Gadd stated successful a filing responding to the suit that Baby Reindeer "is fictionalized and is not intended to represent existent facts."